Where Art Thou Father Christmas?

Christmas of Black Tears

I still believe in Santa Claus. I still believe in the fables we heard, read, learned & carved in heart as kids - those tales of how the Good always overpowers the Evil. We also learned that naughty children don’t get Christmas presents from Santa; thus, we have to be good throughout. Childhood was simple – be bad, the bogeyman will take you away; but be good and you will be the best kid on Santa’s list.

The girl ‘Amanat’ from Delhi must have done something terrible this year to have encountered that terrible fate. The bogeyman or rather the whole bogeyman clan came for her on that dreaded bus. Similarly, that poor lawyer from Mumbai must have been so bad this year that she was molested and murdered inside her own apartment by a security guard who was supposed to ‘secure’ her! Or is it so that being a girl, none of the fairy tale and religious teachings applies to the ‘weaker sex’? The little bit of feminist streak in me pokes me when I say we are the weaker sex, but the unfortunate fact is that we are the vulnerable gender. We are sandwiched between pervert characters and rigid social attitude. Many ‘spokespersons’ and authority figures of the society often find critical points in putting the blame on girls although they proclaim it is for the safety of girls –

• She was not dressed appropriately. Apparently jeans are more provocative than fitted churidars and midriff-baring sarees! Don’t get me wrong, I love Indian wears, especially sarees which make a woman look the most beautiful. But what a girl wears shouldn’t be considered an indicator of her morals. Yet, the archaic mentality is still plaguing the mass opinion (which also includes many women, sadly another horrific angle in the story)!

• What was she doing out at that late hour? Same what your good son was doing – catching up with friends over dinner, trying to relax after a long, tiring day at work or simply trying to get out of the regular routine of cooking and cleaning utensils. If you have ever tutored your son to respect a girl’s modesty at any given time within 24 hours, this question would never arise in your mind.

Thus, as per the guidelines of the ‘social moral guardians’, most of us girls might never figure in Santa’s good list, unless we remain inside the walls of our homes. Oh wait, so those cases of sexual offences like rapes by family members or marital rape are just figments of our imagination or what?

It appears laughable to think that Santa stands for the Good in life. But he must exist because we know for sure that the evil bogeyman exists. Yet we are not finding any reason to rejoice and celebrate the season. Santa seems to have forgotten our kind, good or bad. It is idiotic of us to expect Christmas gifts from him unless it is pepper spray. Safe place at any given time is a mere mirage.

The sexual offenders are psychologically deranged and the chance of eradicating such perverts from the face of the earth completely is, sadly, nil. I think such a feat can be achieved only by either a whole bunch of superheroes or the apocalypse. So as the vulnerable fraternity, we the women are always at the danger of being groped, eve-teased, harassed, molested and raped - despite being on the good side. Unfortunately, there are hardly any concrete measures taken by our authorities to prevent and lessen the number of such cases. There is no fast and strict means of punishing the offenders which could instill fear among future offenders. So in every plausible way, we are in the neglected list of Santa. Yes, this is the third list of Father Christmas which some forgetful elf must have misplaced.  

No this year I am not finding any reason to be grateful, to celebrate the spirit of Christmas or New Years. For me and for most women, the season’s greetings are empty black alphabets with no ‘Ho Ho Hos’. I don’t want to sound pessimist but some part of me actually wanted Doomsday to happen on 21.12.12 as it would have ended everything – good, bad and ugly. Since it didn't happen, I can try to be optimistic about my childhood beliefs and ask Santa to give us at least one reason to rejoice – (a) safer world where crime can be prevented (doesn't hurt to think of futuristic crime prevention as shown in ‘Minority Report’) or (b) fast & strict judicial system dealing with offenders or simply, (c) a normal life for all the rape/molestation victims without any social stigma. 

Dear Santa, I hope you are listening!

Stories… Memories… Legendary Lores… Friends!

“. . . the companions of our childhood always possess a certain power over our minds which hardly any later friend can obtain.” ― Mary Shelley

Sharing lunch boxes, books, audio cassettes (yes, we had those in our adolescence and teen days!) and anecdotes about anything and everything: from dreams & ambitions to music & movies, from life’s dilemmas (you know, the ‘teenage’ rebel dramas involving school authority, parents, heart troubles!) to many little joys, and of course, the opposite sex. How much I miss the golden school days! We may not be in touch with most of our school friends today, but isn’t it already ‘romantic’ to realize that you made maximum number of friends only in school! We may not know where most of them are today, but we still remember everyone’s name. One small reunion and the Pandora’s Box of memories always open up. School pals will always enjoy a special cherished place in our hearts.

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”  ― C.S. Lewis

The first day in college and in my case, hostel as well… You search for someone with whom you can identify or connect immediately. You might hang out in a humongous group of batch-mates, but you end up being ‘friends’ with a limited few due to that connection. Those few friends end up being very important part of your life. They give shape to your persona, your life as you gradually step into adulthood. You become ‘philosophers’ with them, trying to decide on a direction of life. For me, they were my family away from home. They are my 4 AM friends till date. Even our parents seek them out if they can’t get through us… “Her phone not reachable”, “Is something bothering her?”, “She is being adamant about that xyz, please talk to her!” and so on.

The same story continues with a very few individuals whom you befriend after you finish academic life… 

They may be from work-sphere, your flatmate or someone introduced to you by some acquaintance. They are the ones who help you relax and rejuvenate after hectic work schedule. They hear out your frustrations, providing the shoulder to cry and let you get into high spirits.  

Thank god for these friends for life, those memories. The late-night or rather, till-dawn talkathon, midnight snacking and odd ice-cream cravings, SOS plea to guys to get those ice-creams, bunking classes to watch already-seen movies while lazing under the cozy blankets, experimenting in kitchen (guess we turned out to be fairly good cooks due to that without mom’s training), that crazy night on the roof during the rains, endless shopping sojourns and of course, the house parties. Given a choice, I will any day prefer those fun house parties where we cook our food ourselves and spend quality time with friends (ending up really high-spirited in every possible way) over the so not memory-worthy parties in posh night clubs. The photographs and memories of those house-parties always bring smiles even in darker times. Oh, the stuffs that happen during college days will create legendary stories for our next generations… our stories are at par with our favourite sitcoms like ‘Friends’. We are very proud of those stories!

“A friend may be waiting behind a stranger's face.” ― Maya Angelou

Then there are those strangers whom you don’t know personally, may be you have not even met them. But there is always a warm connection with them. You feel happy to bond with them as you feel they understand you in certain way. You don’t even feel the need to talk to them directly. Pen pals (in older times) and a few social-networking pals today can cheer you up when you are feeling down and out. A few message exchanges… you can unburden your thoughts to them without being judged. I feel I am fortunate to have a few such friends who know me without really knowing me. It’s true, life can be stranger than fiction.

“We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?” asked Piglet.              
“Even longer,” Pooh answered.
― Winnie-the-Pooh

I am not trying to classify friends. Truth is, friendship can’t be defined. There are no true friends… There are only ‘friends’… rest are just the people you know, or at least you hope you know. Friends, you don’t need to pretend to know them and you are also sure, they are also not pretending to know you. They simply understand.

So here it goes… Happy Friendship Day!

Parting with Memories of Life

Cleaning and organizing your closet is not an easy task. One of the most time and energy consuming tasks ever. Now I will admit that I have a certain level of OCD and like to see my closet well organized. One thing out of place… and my mind and hands start itching. Thankfully, hectic office hours and other things (read ‘too tired to even sleep!’) restrain me from indulging in this chore on regular basis. But after a point, loud music and cleaning spree gain momentum on one fateful day.

It always turns out to be a fateful day. I shall like to believe that majority of girls would understand what I am about to elaborate.

There will always be at least one item in the closet which is old, almost of no use and breathing its last few airs. An old T-shirt, a few junk jewelleries, some old notes… The list can’t be exhausted. These stuffs always stay; surviving each wardrobe-cleaning frenzy. We keep on holding to such a few stuffs in spite of the fact that they are mostly useless. Or are they really useless?

Us ladies are an emotional species, aren’t we? Those old its-&-bits of stuffs are just itsy-bitsy memories we hold onto. How? Just a few examples:

• Memories of friendship: That Janpath pair of earrings gifted by a roommate/classmate, who was not your BFF. You probably don’t wear them anymore. Yet you keep them inside the earrings trinket box.
• Memories of love: Those gift-wrapping papers which adorned the special gifts. Even the countless Archies/Hallmark cards and may be a few flowers (dry and dead) still sit pretty in that big paper gift box!
• Comfort and warmth: That old T-shirt or kurta, which you probably sneaked from a loved one’s wardrobe (could be anyone from your dad to your boyfriend). You love to sleep in that since it’s the coziest clothing item even though you own best of the night-wears

Men may never understand these logics. Actually, this ‘girly behaviour’ is not entirely logical. But again, thinking from heart is not silly. The emotional value of those old stuffs score higher than many branded and expensive items you own. Throwing such items accounts for a painful, cold-hearted decision. Which is why, I said that cleaning the wardrobe always takes place on a fateful day… a day when you might have to take some hard decision to part with a certain memory.

However, we continue holding onto some items. And this is understandable. It is never surprising if those silly old stuffs survive each cleaning… Spring… Summer… Autumn… and Winter. Girls are emotional and we love to preserve memories which are dear to us. Come what may!!!

Crazy Stupid Love… Or Is it?

So that day of the year is here again. I have a love-hate relationship with the Valentine’s Day. I love the fact that a special day is dedicated to that special feeling called ‘Love’ (despite what many cynics have to say against it). I hate it for a simple reason – there is a dearth of ‘human touch’ in love and relationships of the 21st century and this day has turned into just another commercial pot-boiler. These days, my grievances are increasing because of a week-long celebration of ‘special days’ leading to 14th February. I have discovered the existence of days ranging from ‘Propose Day’ to ‘Promise Day’! Wow, I feel so out-dated. In my days, there were just good old Rose day and Valentine’s Day (as far as I can remember!).


Those were the silliest yet sweetest days! There was anticipation… lots of brainstorming and planning was involved to deliver the perfect V-Day surprise. It was not anything extravagant. It was always simple and personal. Like a hand-made scrapbook with photos, poems (self-composed) and hours of effort invested to design that ‘personalised gift’.


At the risk of sounding like an admonishing ‘aunty’, I genuinely feel there is less of heart-power and more of money-power involved in today’s relationships. Those splurging on materialistic stuffs appear more an effort to win some kind of unofficial competition between all the couples in the world. I, fortunately, belong to a generation which has seen best of all the worlds – from love letters to paper greeting cards, from email to social-networking sites and from SMS to Whatsapp or BBM. So I know to appreciate the best and the worst of everything. I rue the fact that there is simply no human touch in those ‘LOL’s and ‘smiley’s. The warmth of a hand-written, self-composed love letter can’t even be compared to those mundane online chats. The very idea of romancing someone through SMS, chats etc. is such a turn-off!


The beauty of romance, the concept of wooing that special someone has somehow become too mechanical and commercial. Of course, true love still exists. But too much ‘Branding’ of love, a pure emotion, is objectionable (at least from my point of view). Can the magic of romance take place through mere exchange of expensive gifts and wireless messages? I still view romance with little bit of rose-tint on my dark glares! Even though I can laugh at those fairy-tale climaxes of chick films, I love to watch them and wander into a make-believe world occasionally. For me, Simplicity is the magic word. Simple… go for KISS… Keep It Simple Silly! Let love be crazy and stupid…


Being a girl, I can’t give up on those mushy chick flicks. So today I wrap up with a dialogue by the spunky Emma Stone from the film ‘Easy A’. Take a hint guys…


“Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boom-box outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number, for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnBAqcFBLXw


Wish John Hughes or even Karan Johar would have directed my life!!!

Karma, Ego & All That Jazz

My recent Facebook update read something like this, “Those who hurt you will eventually screw themselves up. And if you are bloody lucky, Karma will let you WATCH!” I know it sounds mean and invites bad Karma in all probability. But after the likes and kind comments, retweets on Twitter and even a few comments in person later, I realized that I was not talking nonsense at all. Human beings are inherently vengeful and everyone wishes deep down something ‘not nice’ to happen to those who hurt him or her real bad. Since we are too lazy to take the revenge ourselves, well… let Karma take care of everything!

“Why this Kolaveri??” Hmmph!!! I meant, why such murderous rage? Are we genuinely hurt or is this a classic case of hurt ego? I guess to each his own.

I will cite a chapter from my own life. I decided to ‘unfriend’ someone from my friend list on Facebook. Simple reason being since we never spoke and there is hardly any chance we will ever talk as ‘friends’. I was not interested to know about any updates from his life and similarly, I was not keen to provide him the window to my life. Here I admit that my ego pushed me to do something like that. But this person seriously must be having greater issues with me. May be he never imagined I could remove him from my friend list. So he ‘blocked’ me on Facebook so that I can’t ever access his profile. Wow! Talk about ego, or should I say, the case of Inflated Ego. How wise is this person?!? Trust me when I say I laughed for a good measure of around 5 minutes imagining what thoughts and curses might have run through his mind for me. I am still smiling… (wicked smile). So in this case, who do you think was more childish, me or him?

Someone once funnily quoted, “Some people have such inflated ego that it probably has stretch marks!” Touché.

I too value my ego. But I am yet to reach the extreme peak. I am too laid-back to think about something ‘not nice’ happening in the lives of those who hurt me. For me two things matter – (a) It happened because it was destined to happen and (b) Whatever happens, happens for the best and since I am still alive and kicking, I must be God’s favourite child to be out of it. Rest I assign to Karma. I feel I must have earned real bad Karma to have experienced those hurtful moments. But so have those who hurt me. So let me enjoy my life while Karma takes care of all. For the record, I will consider myself fortunate if Karma allows me witness a few moments of ‘getting back’.

Till then…

I Love Stories

A new year has started. Till date, nothing extra-ordinary has taken place. But life is not mundane also. Except a recurring cold, I am pretty much enjoying 2012. There have been really nice experiences, some good fodder for creating and preserving a few wonderful memories.

But (there is always a ‘But’, isn’t it?)… I am ready to ponder over lots of things again. Can’t help it, it’s ME! Someone quoted on Facebook that the status updates and photos uploaded by friends on social networking sites can often make one wonder about the happiness of others and the deficit of such happiness in one’s own life. Let’s see…

My 2011 saw many updates on ‘relationship statuses’, ranging from engaged to married. Now I am feeling paranoid thinking if 2012 will see lots of babies photos uploaded!

Come on, I am thinking just like a girl… nothing wrong with that. We girls have our sets of apprehension and big ‘Ifs and Whens’.

Girls being girls, we are such emotional wrecks. Most of the time confused about our own wishes and heart’s desires.

Case 1: Girl is one of the prettiest and smartest ladies around. The proverbial beauty with brains, she has most of the boys eating out of her palms. By the way, she also belongs to that mythical class of girls who has a near Mr. Perfect in her life. It’s actually too much of a fairytale, isn’t it? Well, the twist is… the Mr. Perfect had to move out of town for good. Girl, who is doing really well in her field of job, is in confusion. If she moves out of this town, she will have to bid goodbye to her career. What should be her priority – Love or Career? She can date the best of the men but she knows it too well… her heart belongs to Mr. Perfect only. Huge dilemma!!!

Case 2: They have been together since almost a decade. She has always loved him unconditionally. However, he has never committed himself completely, always stating clearly that marriage is not an option. As long as it lasts, it is cool with him. So she has to take some difficult but final decisions. In order to initiate the process of ‘moving on’, she starts exploring other ‘avenues’. Reason? She has never been single. She ponders… is she jumping into the fire from the frying pan?!?

Case 3: Amalgamation of the above two cases. She can’t sacrifice her career. But she knows there is a huge dearth of Mr. Perfects or even Mr. Near Perfects. Emotionally gullible, she believes she can’t stay alone. Thus she starts depending on Mr. Rebound, not able to separate a fling from love. Result? She is still trying to dance on shaky grounds!

We girls love ‘Love Stories’. So we keep on looking for one in our own lives. Generally it is said that women are difficult to understand. Honestly, I think we girls are confused about our desires ourselves. We really don’t understand what we really want… except the fact we want to be loved. In these three cases, most often the girls might end up succumbing to hearts’ pressure of ‘being in love’. There might be exceptions, but most often heart wins at this tug-of-war.

Call it the moral of the story or the bottom line, we are, consciously or sub-consciously, into love stories and happy endings. So we love to see those happy status updates on Facebook and look forward to our own love stories (even if we don’t want to admit it openly!).  

So “Happy Status Updates” ladies!

A Last Note… Prelude to Something New

It’s that time of the year. The tick tock on the clock is distinctly audible. The last few hours are here… to end 2011 with an optimistic high; or at least with a hope to begin 2012 on a jolly note.

I am not that much into New Year resolutions. If you really want to do something (or stop doing something in some cases), why do you need any special occasion for that? But just for the sake of a new ‘yearly’ tradition, I also try to list down a few resolutions and simultaneously, come up with counter-attacking points. So here it goes:

1. No junk food.  But 31^st December night always leads to binging on all the unhealthy yummy food. So 1^st January usually begins with gluttony, heralded by scrumptious cake. Let’s see how much I can resist pani-puris from 2^nd January!
2. Find a decent house… ‘my space’… in crowded Mumbai. Very difficult task. Monetary limitation, attachment to the expensive locality Lokhandwala, tricky property rules and regulations and above all, my laziness to go for house-hunting, all make it difficult to stick to this vital resolve. Moreover, these days whenever my parents start talking marriage, well the laziness engulfs me more. I mean, if I get married, again the mammoth job of shifting will arise… won’t it? Who wants to repeat the bothersome hard work called ‘packing and unpacking’? Yawn!!!
3. Get that tattoo. This tattoo design has been in my mind since four years now. Only my phobia of needles has been preventing me till date. The new year might see me overcome this phobia. I will give it my best shot (I hope so!).
4. Read more and more books. This is one resolution which I will definitely keep. It’s true, “So many books, so little time!” I will have to reserve time.
5. Find the guy who is loved by my folks and most importantly, loved by me. Hmmm… this appears to be the most difficult. The less said the better!

2011 has been one roller-coaster ride. A year that has been unlike any other years of my life. There have been good, bad and even worst experiences. But that’s life. So why not take it with a pinch of salt… along with lime and vodka shots! Love it!!! Ohkkk… looks like I still believe in ‘Love’. A good omen! Cheers to 2012!!!

Let’s not fret about all those Doomsday predictions. And if worried, then let’s plan our individual ‘Noah’s Ark’. My own 'Namrata's Ark' sounds good already with the best specimens on board... What an amazing fantasy it is (wink)! 

Happy 2012 people!

A Mumbai Year… My Musings

No day copies yesterday,
no two nights will teach what bliss is
in precisely the same way,
with precisely the same kisses.

17 December is special for me. It’s daddy dearest’s birthday. Then in 2010, I shifted to Mumbai. A long cherished dream, thus, was fulfilled. No offence meant for Delhi or Kolkata (where I resided previously) and definitely not for my homeland, Assam, but I always wanted to come to Mumbai. I don’t know the reason… don’t ask me why, but I love this city.

So, it’s been a year. Wow! Well, people are right! “Time does own the fastest wings”! The 17 December morning of 2010 appears to be just yesterday. Even 2011 is nearing the edge of the end. How did this year end so fast?! And what lessons did I learn from the whirlwind of a year?!?

New place, new people, new experiences. Now I never imagined myself to be Tess McGill from Working Girl. I have stayed away from the safe cocoon created by my family long enough not to live as the wide-eyed sweet girl. I am not at all sugar or honey-coated sweetheart who will take bitter pills smiling. Despite all these ‘philosophy of my life’, Mumbai did teach me a few lessons within a year.

For me, Mumbai is like a woman who has regular mood-swings… just like me. One day the city exposes you to certain ruthlessness and the very next day, it embraces you with loving warmth. It lets you stumble and then it picks you up! I discovered many facets of human behavior as well as a few aspects of my own, both unknown to me before the Mumbai chapter began.

I won’t dissect someone else’s life or nature. Let’s talk about ME. I discovered that I can be really sarcastic if and when I need to be. And this can be either positive or very bad for my reputation. Some people become very wary of me being rude and muphat. Hey… it definitely keeps unwanted people at bay and brings genuine friends closer. On the other hand, I have also learnt not to react to things which I would like to ignore. I can behave like a real b#$*h if I wish to and I enjoy doing that. You see, Mumbai taught me that you got to be ‘the vamp with a good heart’ if I want to breathe in the sea air of the city. Just keep the shield on with no evil plan if you want to survive the potholes of life’s roads, ironically, imitating the city roads! One more thing… I also emerged really good at the art of lying. I will tell you from experience, sometimes one lie helps in evaluating another person and his worth in your life. His reaction to that lie can help you to take major decision. Try it!

So many things have been said, written and depicted on celluloid about Mumbai. I have stumbled on more than one occasion during this one year. Living here is insanely expensive. To top that, I am adamant enough to struggle and survive on my own. Some people are really good while a few are heartlessly mean. Many times I end up cursing so many things. But when someone asks me, “Do you still like it in Mumbai?!?”… well, my prompt answer is, “Hell yeah! I love Mumbai!!!”

Mumbai teaches you what LIFE is…It teaches you what I quoted in the beginning of this note. I guess it is true… “Aye dil hai mushkil jeena yahan… Zara hat ke zara bach ke, yeh hai Bombay meri jaan”.

Party Abhi Baki Hai??!!

I think age is catching up with me or my thought-process at least. Since last few weekends, I am avoiding going out to night-spots. My preference these days usually is a good book with great music playing at a medium volume and a very strong cup of coffee! Might be sounding old and boring. But honestly, I am tired of the so-called good dance music and the pub or lounge ambiance. 

These days I end up remembering and comprehending the opinions of my folks and elders regarding the music and music videos of my generation. And I genuinely don’t feel like dancing every Saturday night. The 'party' songs – countless versions of David Guetta, Pitbull, Ludachris, Taio Cruz and LMFAO compositions – all sound same to me after one point. Of course, when in the right mood, I still love to groove. But that mood is set rarely these days and I am not sure why!

A recent satirical article I read somehow cleared my confusion to an extent. According to this, the nightlife crowd consists of three types of people – (1) People who go out to genuinely have a good time, (2) the all decked-up wannabes whose IQ is limited to the page 3 in newspaper supplements, and (3) the brainless rich spoilt kids for whom ‘nightlife is life’. I can safely assume I belong to category 1. But to genuinely have a good time, I need genuinely good company of like-minded people and here I am missing my dearest friends, all of them being in Delhi. Well, company matters! So give me a great book or movie anytime over an all-nighter of partying with people whose vibes don’t match mine and then, waking up in the morning (if sleeping is a provision at all!) with bad hangover. I would prefer to flock with birds of same feather!

But seriously, why all the ‘party songs’ sound similar these days? All the music videos look similar with scantily clad women with very suggestive dance moves. It’s not that I don’t enjoy these songs. But I honestly can’t differentiate one song from another many of the times. The exclamation ‘melodious song’ doesn’t pop out in my mind when I listen to these numbers. Of course, when in the right mood, I too love to dance on them. But no, they never feature on my list of top favourites. They are always ‘flavours of the season’.

I wish there would be more melodious singers like Christina Perri, Adele, Rumer, Maroon 5 and of course, my obsession… Bruno Mars. I have never been in love with any singer until I heard the divine voice of Bruno Mars. Even the music videos of these singers are very creative and have a storyline which makes them worth remembering.

Recently, I listened to this amazing song called “If I die young” by The Band Perry. The lyrics and the music video prove that poetry can be experienced and lived. Songs need not be about relationships, heart-breaks and love-making. There are so many stories to be told and interpreted by artistic minds and a song like “If I die young” just gives flight to that imagination. The final adieu as depicted in the song… wow… even I would love to leave the world with a book of Tennyson’s poetry!!! I recommend this one to all true 'Music' lovers.

(P.S. All my pals… I still love to recall my farewell party night in Delhi… will never forget that all-nighter J !!!)

Burger Off!!!

Whatever others might say, I loved Imtiaz Ali’s Rockstar!

Many thought the film was not up to the expectations. Why? Arrey, it was not at all about the rise and fall of a rockstar! It was a love story!!!

Come on, if the plot would have been so predictable then there would never be anything called ‘the magic of movies’! Isn’t life beautiful because it is so unpredictable? I went for Rockstar with no pre-conceived notions except for two facts – I love Imtiaz Ali’s style of story-telling and I think Ranbir Kapoor is a power-house of acting prowess. And yeah, for a chance to relive my memories of Delhi and North Campus (I love to do that through all the wonderful Delhi-based films like Band Baaja Baaraat)!

And I was not disappointed. The abstract montage of various events in the life of Jordan, the protagonist, is something that’s a novelty in Indian cinema. Many in the theatre couldn’t grasp it and simply opined, “Poor screenplay”. But I thought it was very intelligent modern art… the audience is compelled to think... to wonder.

The basic theme of the story is the love story between Jordan and Heer. Now I would admit, although Nargis Fakri is ethereally beautiful, I wished she was even an inch of an actor! But Ranbir is a treat to watch. It’s apparent that he put in his heart and soul in the character and as a consequence, he turned into one of the essences of the soul of Rockstar; the other essences being the music by A. R. Rahman and the voice of Mohit Chauhan. I have never been a fan of Mohit Chauhan although his songs are always good. But for the first time, I simply loved his voice. The best aspect is the aura of live concert that’s been created on-screen. The songs, the music grows on you although you have heard the entire album beforehand.

But I am not playing the role of a movie critic here. I loved the complicated, the poetic way of painting a cute love story and an unusual heart-break. I loved the fact that the skeleton of the movie owes its origin to Rumi’s poetry. I loved that there was no expected and usual depiction of rockstar whose life was infested by over-dose of sex, booze and drugs. I simply loved the little little symbolic representations like the key on the guitar strap. And I loved that there was no attempt to make any pseudo-intellectual statement. Just a beautiful reference to innocent birds in two songs and a fleeting support to the Tibet movement... it was more than enough. It's not a movie about politically correct or incorrect statements and thankfully, it remained that way!

Not for a single second I wondered why there was no expected portrayal of the rise and fall of Jordan as Rockstar. I admire the fact that Imtiaz Ali dreamed and dared to tell his story in his own way. May be, as stated in the movie, creative people do think and act in crazy and unexpected way!!!

Of course, cinematically Rockstar is no 8 Mile. But the film-maker must really have been inspired by Rumi… “I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.” He had a vision and he sang it out beautifully on celluloid. There was no deviation from the basic plot of the subtle love story; the story of rise and rise of the rockstar was intertwined with the main plot. There was no forceful tone of tragic blues. The movie was a melodious song or an eye-catching sketch for me.

So one question that has been on my mind is -- “Do you really have to go through heartbreak to produce something creative, something that will jolt others hearts to sighs and cries??” Well, that’s a matter which may be I will think about some other time.

For now, well, those who didn’t like Rockstar, please move onto something predictable like Murder 2. And “Burger off”!!! (You know what I mean… wink!)

The Whiff of The Memory…

The story has long turned into a lump in my throat,

I have no more memories of the lips I had kissed

Or the smell of the arms where I had rested my head.

Yet the ghosts of the memory haunt me…

Like Wordsworth’s Solitary Reaper

I stand alone under the winter rain,

The tears have long gone.

Yet the thorns of the black rose prick the weary heart…

The memory has vanished like the February mist

But a few whispers have remained…

I dream of flying

Like Marry Poppins with the red umbrella,

My angel smiles the sunbeam for me,

But two orange autumn leaves are still surviving the new breeze…

Like A Movie Star…

“What we think ‘Real’ is just the mirror image of our innermost desires.”

As school-going teenagers, we used to find similarities between a film’s story and our own life-stories, specially the love sagas. You know, the kind of stories where lovers have to face obstacles from family and society, majorly having a tragic undertone. I even used to call my then-boyfriend by the names of the characters I had fallen in love with and so did he. In those days, even a song used to describe the situation we used to get ourselves into. I am sure many of you must be having such fond memories of the teenage years.

Gosh, those were the days… the good old days of our acne-prone adolescence and teenage years. Silly fantasies and puppy loves! The world seemed to revolve around us and our love lives. Looking back, I have some very fond memories of those growing-up years.

Then we all were highly awed and influenced by the passionate portrayal of the obsessive lover by Shah Rukh Khan. So much so, many tried to emulate his crazy ways like cutting the name of the lover on the hand. In fact, this is a private joke till date between me and my friends which is not for ‘mere mortals’ (Winking)!

But we were just growing up then. Romantic glares on, we were not able to visualize the real world, the real adult world (although we used to get warned by our folks). Once kiddy days are over, school romances are followed by college affairs and then office flings. So, do these ‘love stories’ still ape some block-buster?

Well, I guess many such real-life stories are more dramatic than any flick. After all in one movie, it would be very difficult to include so many plots of hook-ups and heartbreaks in a story of at most three hours! We open our eyes to a rude awakening that man like Humphrey Bogart of Casablanca, Richard Gere of Pretty Woman or for that matter, SRK of DDLJ doesn’t exist. (For the benefit of guys, neither do Julia Roberts nor Madhuri Dixit,or rather, their iconic characters exist!)

As I was watching Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara for the umpteenth time last evening, I once again realized our lives are rarely like anything as portrayed on celluloid. In that flick, Katrina Kaif enjoys drinks and travels with the three male protagonists, three complete strangers. The men adore her for being ‘cool’ and she shares comfortable vibe with all. But in reality, Katrina would never be able to do so without fighting off sexual overtures of these guys. The guys would justify their moves saying… “Well, she is the one who is visiting our place at night, drinking with us and hey, you can’t blame us men after a few pegs down!” So much for hoping against of hope for the three perfect men from ZNMD!!!

Yet, we keep on hoping. Of course, we are past that stupid phase of thinking we are the leads of a movie. And I am not only talking about romantic flicks. Many look up to even serious dramas like Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind or Vanilla Sky. May be as adults, we subconsciously attempt to run away from the harsh truth that life throws at us often. In the attempt to escape from the reality, maybe we end up discovering similarity between the real and the reel life. Maybe, as quoted at the very beginning, movies just mirror our innermost desires. But the real life is lived only by those who learn to live the life he or she wishes to, and not simply studying the movie lives… Maybe!

Enjoy a Café Latte

A few days back, a dear friend of mine called me up really late at night. Worried, I picked up and became more worried when I realized he was all panicky. But when he told me the reason of his panic, I was amused. His parents wanted him to meet some girl for ‘matrimonial cause’. I told him to meet the girl with an open mind as all it was just a meeting.

Then he confided to me about the emotional turmoil he has been going through. He is supposedly ‘in love’. But he is confused because the object of his affection has not actually committed to him. She is in a relationship with someone for nearly 10 years. At the same time, as she confided to my friend, she has been two-timing her boyfriend with someone in her office! And now she has been telling my friend that she would eventually break-up with both and come to him. In the meantime, she seeks support of my pal as she is often emotionally distraught due to this tug-of-war between the two men (and now she has the nerve to involve my friend!).

Any sane mind would warn my friend that this girl spells TROUBLE! But my friend feels emotionally connected her (damn these ‘emotions’!!!) In his words, “I feel she is getting trapped in an emotional quick-sand”. I curse the word ‘emotion’!

Now, this friend of mine has also recently broken up with his long-time girlfriend. So he has also been feeling a bit vulnerable and in the process of offering his shoulder to the cry-baby, he is slowly getting hooked to her. He thinks their stories of heart-break are somewhat similar and, thus, they are soul mates.

He is today confused regarding two aspects: firstly, whether she is the right one for him and secondly, what if she is the rebound for him?

So, around 3.30 am, I was attempting to play agony aunt to my dear friend. Although I am not an authority on affairs of human heart, I tried to reason with him. Betraying the trust of my sisterhood, I told him how we girls are really good or rather, brilliant in faking everything. I humbly requested him to let that girl take her decisions herself. He should strictly tell the girl to handle the two affairs herself and come to him only after the mess is sorted. It’s a mess created by her and should be ended on her own. Why should my friend bear the brunt of two jilted lovers or for that matter, a bad Karma of being the ‘home-wrecker’? I told him if the girl has genuine feelings for him, she will take the necessary steps herself.  Rest things will take shape themselves. Thank god, he understood my point.

Now coming to his second apprehension, well, only time will tell if she is the rebound (all depends if it ever happens between them). Thus, he should wait and watch. Once the girl comes out clean and strong and commits to him, he would eventually know it himself. Then I gave him an amusing lesson on matters of heart.

‘The Rebound’ is something that’s pretty interesting. Many would view such a ‘relationship’ with curious thoughts. But I see it in a ‘fun’ light.

I am a Cappuccino girl.  But an occasional Café Latte breaks the monotony and rejuvenates you. To move on from a failed relationship in which you had invested so much emotions and time, the rebound works like the Café Latte. Having a fling with someone, who is so not your type, can work like magic. You risk your feelings, you tread an unknown ground and it gives you a high. And this high feeling heals the wounds of the broken relationship. You feel rejuvenated, all set for a new love chapter in your life-story.

Thus, I advised my friend to take one step at a time. If and when the girl commits to him, he should let actions speak louder than any forced emotions. If there is any sign of it being a rebound for both of them, then he should simply enjoy the moment and let go once he feels he is ready for the next story. ‘The Rebound' does help you to bounce back into lively life!!!

Manipulating.... Scripting.... So You Mean Your Life is Not Yours!!!

No one can manipulate anyone else. In any relationship, both parties know what they are doing, even if one of them complains later on that they were used.

-The Witch of Portobello, Paulo Coelho

Can a relationship be fabricated? Can a girl really manipulate the thoughts and emotion of the guy whom she likes? Can a guy strategize to make his dream-girl to fall for him? Do emotions really make you so blind? Does a person’s brain stop functioning on its own due to ‘manipulation’ of someone else?

First of all, what can be defined as ‘manipulating a relationship’? Secondly, who decides who manipulated whom?

Let’s see two sides of the coin.

One of the oldest tricks in every man’s book to hook the girl – talk badly about the ex-girlfriend, how much of an ugly bitch she was and how she was possessive and obsessive about him.

The girls can also give a worthy competition to men in this game. Tell him a sob story, with all those rain-drop sized tears, about the ex who never gave her the time and the dignity she deserves and how he had clipped the wings of her dreams.

Sounds familiar? It is actually that easy to snatch the attention and affection of the opposite sex with such ancient ploys. But is there any scheme to retain and extend the attention span? Flirting and engaging in a fling with all these plots is easy, and is acceptable to a certain extent. I think there is also some kind of kick in the chase. But ‘scripting’ a love story, a sustaining relationship?! Is it that convenient?

Come on, is an individual, especially an adult, so dumb that he or she can be manipulated to ‘fall in love’? If I am able to achieve that feat then I will for sure lose interest in that man very soon for one simple reason – the man must be really spineless for not able to recognize and follow his own emotions. I don’t need such an emotionally immature person who doesn’t know what does his heart desire.

It’s just a matter of blame game. Two consenting adults can never put into action a strategy to lure each other into a committed relationship. If someone does, well… according to me, that’s not a relationship but only a fling. The one who is manipulating is doing so for momentary pleasure, while the other who is being manipulated is the victim of confused feelings which would eventually die a silent death. Fact is, none is in love. And the fact is, even if this ‘relationship’ starts, well, the future will always remain bleak. The very foundation is set by a web of lies. How could it blossom into a ‘Happily Ever After’? It is and will always be a ‘At the Moment’.

Marriage & Its Brand Equity

As I have mentioned on several occasions, ‘Marriage’ has been the phrase and flavor in my life since some time now. Every now and then, I am bombarded with news of friends and acquaintances getting married or getting ready for the huge step. Then there is the dreadful question that’s often thrown at me, “When are you getting married?”  Getting hitched and making me settle down suddenly seem to be the priorities everywhere! The age of getting married, oops… sorry, the ripe age of getting married is torturous. There are enormous rounds of drama and trauma involved, courtesy the two involved parties – the prospect and her family. Well, I guess everyone stands right at one’s own place.

I am never against marriage. It is a sacred institution. But somewhere down the line, I feel this sacred institution is losing a certain amount of sheen off its Brand Equity. If I am allowed to use a marketing jargon, ‘Marriage’ today has turned into a ‘Cash cow’. All the pros and cons of this establishment have been analyzed and comprehended in our mature market, oops, society. The businesses of wedding planning, hotels, resorts or banquet halls and fashion are leaving no stone unturned to milk this fat cow. Ironically, we often use the term ‘The Big Fat Indian Wedding’ (without a doubt, inspired by the cute movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. We are so good in copying!)

But biggest reason for comparing marriage with Cash cow is simple. Consider this situation: when you are planning to buy a car, you get numerous suggestions. But if you state that you want to buy a just launched vehicle, people will advise you to opt for a safe option and buy an already popular car. So, you are directed to the most popular car of a particular brand, the cash cow of the brand. “If nothing works out, lets get a Maruti 800, Santro or I10!”

The logic usually given is: you can’t stay alone forever. You are required to blend in the society. So even if you wish to swim against the tide, others try to ensure you don’t break the convention. We still look at couples in live-in relationship with curious eyes, if not scandalous manner. Marriage is the safest and the best investment in your life. You won’t be at a loss if you get married! In terms of the BCG Matrix, your personal growth (market growth rate) might be low, but you enjoy a strong social position (market share). Hence, I am calling ‘Marriage’ a ‘Cash cow’.

You can choose to differ. And I will state again, I am certainly not anti-marriage!!! It is just that I don’t understand the rush people and their families exhibit once they reach that ‘marriageable age’. Any investment in life requires lots of thought and marriage IS THE BIGGEST INVESTMENT OF LIFE. After all, you are going to spend of your whole life with that person, get tied down with each other’s families as well as with biggest responsibilities, including giving birth to a new generation! So, why the rush?! How in an arranged marriage, families can try to seal the fate of the persons involved? Even in love marriage, how much time is enough to understand the gravity of the future responsibilities? Are a few days of courtship sufficient to take the big decision?

‘To be or not to be’ is the trick question. And I am not the right person to opine. But I know for a fact, marriage is definitely not dolls play. Even if you want to buy a popular brand of car, you are usually spoilt for choices. So, you should do proper research, give deeper thought and take the biggest decision. Marriage is not an impulse buying decision!!!