Monday, September 26, 2011

Me… A Bad Girl!

So by now most of you must have watched ‘Mere Brother ki Dulhan’. If not, then most certainly all of you must be grooving to the enthralling song ‘Dhunki’ and going gaga over Katrina Kaif’s rockstar look. In the film, she is the fun-loving, carefree and sincere-hearted ‘Bad Girl’. So why am I highlighting the bad girl?

While watching the film, I saw a bit of myself in Dimple (Katrina’s character). She enjoys her young days. She views life through rose-tinted glares and chooses to ignore the darker aspects of life, although she is aware of their presence. Happy-go-lucky and bindass is the way of life for her. She doesn’t mince words, is a brat and enjoys ‘the bad things’ (read smoking, drinking and breaking the rules). She is a rebel. Thus, by society’s definition, she is a bad girl.

But she has a few limitations set for herself, by herself. She won’t break those barriers. Just because she flirts with guys, she won’t go onto sleep with each and every guy she flirts with. She is highly frustrated with the general attitude of men towards girls like her. She is tired of the double standard of Indian men who claim to enjoy the company of girls like her but are constantly on the look out of the first opportunity to bed her. And the biggest hypocritical stance of the men is really sickening – such ‘bad girls’ are fun companies but not marriage materials. You see, she is ‘easy’, and not ‘wifey’!

In the film, Katrina laments about this double face of Indian men to Imran Khan. He tries to reason with her that our society is not accustomed to free-spirited girls. The Indian society is still by bound by tradition.

Now my problem with the explanation given by Imran lies in the following fact –

“If our society is still bound by tradition, then why do the Indian men behave like they belong to an entirely alien culture? Does ‘being Indian’ apply only to girls?”

I am so tired of such chauvinistic outlook. Take for consideration the numerous deodorant advertisements playing non-stop on the idiot-box. The theme of all these ads are same – apply the deo and girls will jump on the guy like moths throng towards flame. I particularly hate one ad which shows the guy ordering two girls to reach his place in 5 minutes. What a way to demean women!

Come on, we girls are not that dumb. We would go out only with the guys whom we like from first impression. We would observe and study and make the move or let him make the move only if we like him and wish to give him a shot. Trust me, if we didn’t like you, you won’t even get the chance to talk to us. We might be the emotionally weaker sex, but we are very capable of taking hard and strong decisions.

We might not be the ‘perfect Indian girl’ as defined by society. We do like to have fun. Personally, I hate to be bound by rules. Yet I have always set my own rules. If I don’t want to do something, no one can force me to do so. I have my own strong opinions and I value the difference between right and wrong. Of course, there might and will be differences of opinion between your and my definitions of right and wrong. I will admit honestly, I have my flaws. However, I do possess a few ‘wifely’ attributes: I can cook well, I can set up a beautiful home and am very adept at handling problems associated with running a household. But this does not imply that I should not party with friends and guys. And just because I tread a bit on the wilder side, does not imply that I am a bad ‘bad girl’.

At least I can say that I don’t bear a hypocritical attitude towards men who enjoys the finer things in life. I don’t think men who break rules, drinks or smokes are ‘bad boys’. I also understand not every guy bears a chauvinistic attitude. In short, I don’t objectify men. And I understand the gravity of responsibilities that come with being a single working girl living an independent life, away from near and dear ones. I will have my share of fun while remaining sincere towards my own rules.

By the way, if you are trying to ape the open attitudes of the western society, then at least try to handle that attitude with maturity. One of my girlfriends recently travelled to Europe and she was recounting the experiences she had with the men there. She said that the guys there were such gentlemen that they never tried to grab a girl until and unless the girl had similar intention. Of course, there was flirting and the usual cheesy lines. (After all, men will be men!) But they won’t try to grope you and they won’t force themselves upon the unwilling girl. They knew how to make you feel like a lady.

I agree with her. I also met some really nice foreigners recently and experienced their perfectly gentlemen demeanor. They made me feel like Audrey Hepburn (I think I am obsessed with herJ).

Of course, I would neither claim that all Indian men are jerks nor that all foreigners are gentlemen. There are always exceptions and thank god for that! But my argument is simple, while trying to inculcate the alien culture, please try to borrow the similar maturity into your behaviour. Being carefree is not a problem. Being irresponsible is.

Keep rocking the party!!!


  1. Nice post....whether we like it or not, it is still a male dominated society out there and this pisses me off too.

  2. gud post...all indian men are nt jerks.....

  3. nikhimenon, I agree... its just that I am unfortunate to come across such jerks most of the times!